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Fettucini Alfredo is just Macaroni and Cheese for adults. - Mitch Hedberg

Fettucini Alfredo is just Macaroni and Cheese for adults.

Mitch Hedberg
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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Unknown
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Nothing in life is more wonderful than free pizza.

Nothing in life is more wonderful than free pizza.

Unknown
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Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Wine is bottled poetry.

Robert Louis Stevenson
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Cheese is happiness.

Cheese is happiness.

Unknown
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. - Erma Bombeck

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

Erma Bombeck
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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. - Mitch Hedberg

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Mitch Hedberg
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Life, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. - Ambrose Bierce

Life, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Ambrose Bierce
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Henny Youngman
Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is... - Demetri Martin

Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is...

Demetri Martin
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Just give me my caffeine and nobody gets hurt!

Just give me my caffeine and nobody gets hurt!

Unknown
Coffee can't cure everything, but it can cure the mornings!

Coffee can't cure everything, but it can cure the mornings!

Unknown
If you can't cook don't tell someone their food needs salt.

If you can't cook don't tell someone their food needs salt.

Unknown
If heaven had a flavor... It would be coffee!

If heaven had a flavor... It would be coffee!

Unknown
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If heaven had a flavor ... it would be coffee!

If heaven had a flavor ... it would be coffee!

Unknown
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If you've never eaten while crying you don't know what life tastes like.

If you've never eaten while crying you don't know what life tastes like.

Unknown
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I know what I bring to the table...So trust me when I say I'm not afraid to eat alone.

Unknown
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Either give me more wine or leave me alone. - Rumi

Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

Rumi
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Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

Douglas Adams

Now they got to look into me loving Tea Cake and see whether it was done right or not! They don't know if life is a mess of corn-meal dumplings, and if love is a bed-quilt!

Zora Neale Hurston
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When one is too old for love, one finds great comfort in good dinners. - Zora Neale Hurston

When one is too old for love, one finds great comfort in good dinners.

Zora Neale Hurston
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The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. - Gilbert K. Chesterton

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

Gilbert K. Chesterton
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You were my cup of tea but I drink champagne now.

You were my cup of tea but I drink champagne now.

Unknown
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Don't be eye candy. Be soul food.

Don't be eye candy. Be soul food.

Unknown

A mother is a person who seeing there are only 4 pieces of pie for 5 people, announces she never did care for pie.

Unknown