Marriage – What Is It? What Do We Need It?

Mawwwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove.” As you could probably tell from that opening monologue, this article is going to heavily feature the topic of marriage matrimony. I’ll employ some of the best and most famous quotes about marriage to get my point across.

So as not to offend any beliefs, I decided to only briefly approach matrimony from a spiritual viewpoint. For the rest of the article, I will talk about it from a personal and psychosocial point of view.

Personal Opinion

May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day in paradise.” – Rumi

Right off the bat, I’m going to state that I believe marriage to be nothing more than an outdated practice. Regardless of that, what matters is how much you care about your significant other. So, if she really felt like marriage is the next step, I would go for it. I would bring up all of my points against the institution but I would concede in the end.

Marriage, at least in some ways, is far less harmful than other religious practices. As long as it’s not forced and nobody has to suffer because of it, it can be one of the tightest bonds two people can share. But as amazing as that it, it’s still a bond.

And while some of us take to bonds quite easily (myself included), it is the general philosophical and scientific consensus that we, as a species, shouldn’t be tied down. We need to explore, to gain knowledge, to be free of artificial social norms and to use all that freedom to create new and better things for ourselves and our fellow men. But I digress.

Pros

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

Most of us feel like we need a special someone. And the truth for most of us is that we actually do. Humans are social creatures by nature, so we need a close-knit group of relatives and loved ones to surround us.

The best way to do this in the current shape of our society is by getting married. Despite it having its flaws, marriage. And marriage is a symbol. Not just any symbol, but a symbol of everlasting love. Like the ouroboros around the ring fingers of the two main participants, marriage is supposed to symbolize endless love.

Moreover, on a certain level, it can bring you closer to your SO. With a marriage comes the foundation of your first family. Not one you are just part of, like when you were a kid, but one which is yours to grow, sustain, and support. It is the first stepping stone towards a new beginning – towards a new era of your life.

Marriage gives you social standing, someone to come home to, and, most importantly, stability. We need to feel that at least part of our lives are stable before we can make efforts towards other ends.

A lifelong companion is a wonderful thing to have. And considering the difficulty of existence given by the very nature of our consciousness, many of us seek that person whom they can trust as much as they trust themselves. Someone whose worries we carry when their load is too full and someone who would do the same for ours.

We need to grab onto that person who makes the bad feelings go away. We need to show them that we don’t take them for granted, and we need to be sure that they know how special they are for us. And for some, the only way to do that is through marriage.

Cons

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

While most of us live into our 80s or 90s, our cells have much shorter life spans. We are completely new people every few months. However, our minds are even more flexible and adaptive than that. Every small change in our environment can drastically influence our mindset and beliefs.

Consider two people, in love with each other, going through these changes. They are bound to come across a number of differences which weren’t there at the beginning of the relationship. So, entering a marriage and hoping you’ll be happy for the rest of your life is kind of like having a subscription to the Deck Builder Weekly and hoping that you’ll never want to move past that hobby.

People change, and we people. Even if your significant other adores you and you adore them at the moment, a few more life experiences can be the end of that. It’s not something particularly rare, and it’s not something any of the participants have a say in. It’s simply the truth of what happens to most relationships.

Adding a marriage contract to the fray can only get things messier for all the parties involved. A potential divorce takes time, money, embarrassment, crooked looks from acquaintances, and even broken families and friendships.

Love is just that – love. It’s something deep and sacred between two people, and it should be treated as such. If we drag in the unnecessariness of legality, paperwork, and religion, we only risk defying, even tainting something primal and beautiful.

Love should be allowed to run its course, just like a river. Otherwise, if we try to muddle it with debris such as in-laws (particularly of the mother variety), prenuptials, lawyers, money, and religious beliefs, we could very well end up changing its course for the worse, or even outright stopping its flow.

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