Ellen DeGeneres tries to befriend Friedrich Nietzsche, or The inadvertent chitchat that spiraled into an uplifting thought exchange

Suddenly finding themselves in the same room, courtesy of the Quantum Quote Accelerator, Ellen and Friedrich share some thoughts that quickly turn into an inspirational conversation about confidence and the reason we exist. In case you are someone who struggles with self-confidence, you might just find some inspiration in the following words uttered by Ellen DeGeneres and Friedrich Nietzsche to each other in this peculiar and most unlikely scenario.

 

Because Nietzsche is one of those celebrities you only hear about, but never really consider as actually having been human, Ellen never thought she would get the chance to have a one-on-one with Friedrich (also because he has been dead for 117 years.)

 

Finding herself face to face with the famous German philosopher, everyone’s favorite talk-show host quickly articulates the first random thought that pops into her mind.

 

Ellen: “How come when you wipe up dust it’s called dusting but when you wipe up a spill it’s not called spilling? There’s something to think about.

 

The poet is not amused. Quite the contrary, as he gives her a cold reply.

 

Nietzsche: “Stupidity in a woman is unfeminine.

 

Little does he suspect that such a demeanor is one of Ellen’s personal pet peeves.

 

‘Excuse me, what was that now?’

 

E: “Here’s a professional tip: If you have to say you’re kidding, it might not be a great joke.

 

Without skipping a beat, the second response is as cold-blooded as the first.

 

N: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

 

Remembering who she is talking to, Ellen tries to get into his good graces, keeping in mind that the times past were indeed quite different from the ones modern-day society faces.

 

E: “It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.

 

N (as if to acknowledge a mutual understanding): “At bottom, every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.

 

E (secretly ecstatic, as if to say ‘I know, right?’): “If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don’t curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hat. That’ll show them.

 

N: “…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.” continues Nietzsche, in an unexpectantly enthusiastic manner, quite intrigued to have found someone who shares his valuable wisdom and ideas.
Ellen starts to open up to the man in front of her, who inspired her to reflect on the interconnectedness of humankind.

 

E: “I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.

 

N: “To see others suffer does one good, to make others suffer even more: this is a hard saying but an ancient, mighty, human, all-too-human principle [….] Without cruelty there is no festival.

 

E (trying to hold on to all positivity she can muster): “But what’s important is that you enjoy and appreciate every day, and that’s something you can accomplish by just living in the moment. Don’t look behind you. Unless someone yells, “Look out behind you!” Then you should definitely look behind you because there’s a good chance a Frisbee is being thrown at your head or, if you’re in a movie, an attractive teenage vampire is about to attack you.” Of course, she ends it with a joke, which (like in the case of Chandler Bing) seems to either be a defense mechanism or a desperate attempt to lighten the mood.

 

N (catching on and starting to feel somewhat sympathetic): “What does your conscience say? — ‘You should become the person you are’.” He states, encouragingly.

 

E: “We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common which is – we all want to be happy.

 

N: “There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them.” Nietzsche replies in an abrupt inspirational burst.

 

E: “So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are… Unless you’re a serial killer.

 

With this being said, they only have time for a short, respectful glance of approval and mutual accord before the Quantum Quote Accelerator starts powering up, engulfing them in a ray of twinkling white light and sending each of them back to where they came from, while simultaneously wiping their memories of the inspirational debate that just occurred. I guess they’ll never know what happened.

 

But hey, hopefully, you got a double shot of inspiration from these noteworthy famous figures. We know we did. So go be yourself, you! You’re welcome.

 

 

Image sources: 1, 2, 3.