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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not. - Ellen DeGeneres

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not.

Ellen DeGeneres
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I don't really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part.

Ellen DeGeneres
It's nice when people love you...for you. - Ellen DeGeneres

It's nice when people love you...for you.

Ellen DeGeneres

If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.

Ellen DeGeneres
Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer. - Ellen DeGeneres

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

Ellen DeGeneres

You know that song that asks: "Why do fools fall in love?" I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.

Ellen DeGeneres

All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution.

Ellen DeGeneres

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.

Ellen DeGeneres

All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety? "Yes, I have all those things! I'm alive!"

Ellen DeGeneres
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Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are. - Ellen DeGeneres

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

Ellen DeGeneres
Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen DeGeneres

Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.

Ellen DeGeneres

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.

Ellen DeGeneres

Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!

Ellen DeGeneres

Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don't stop dropping until the act is completed. So it's not uncommon that they both fall all the way to the ground, hit the ground and both of them die. That's how committed they are to this. I thought to myself, 'Boy, don't we feel like wimps for stopping to answer the phone.' I don't know about you, but if I'm one of these two birds, you're getting close to the ground... I would seriously consider fakin' it.

Ellen DeGeneres
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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Ellen DeGeneres

I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.

Ellen DeGeneres

I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.

Ellen DeGeneres

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

Ellen DeGeneres

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.

Ellen DeGeneres
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. - Ellen DeGeneres

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.

Ellen DeGeneres

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: the people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

Ellen DeGeneres
I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed. - Ellen DeGeneres

I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed.

Ellen DeGeneres

I think I let go of the need for approval... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself ... I could do everything based on how I want to do things.

Ellen DeGeneres

I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

Ellen DeGeneres

I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

Ellen DeGeneres